festival going on and the road was packed. I sighed and
leaned back in my seat. Traffic was practically at a stand still and my radio
is still broken, so I have nothing to really entertain myself with. I stuffed
my face full with candy and decided to kill the time by watching people in the
park. There was a bunch of young Earthlings chasing those flying fluffy things.
I think their called ducks. From behind me I heard a siren. I looked up into my
rearview mirror and saw flashing red and blue lights.
“Pull
over!”
A loud
voice crackled out of the car behind me and I sighed. I pulled my car off to
the side of the road. And parked the van. I rolled down my window and waited
for the cop to get to my window. I’ve become familiar with this. I wasn’t
surprised when the officer was in fact Leonard. This will be the fifth time
I’ve had a problem with this guy. I think he has some sort of crush on me, or
something.
“Do you
know why I pulled you over?” the semi-plump man asked leaning into my window.
“No
officer, why did you sir?” I asked as calmly as possible.
“Would you
mind if I had a look in your van son?”
“Go ahead.”
I leaned
back in my seat and listened as Leonard pulled the door of the van open. He let
out a small gasp of horror.
“Son, can
you come here please.” Leonard demanded with a shaky voice.
I unbuckled
my seat belt and joined the man.
“Explain
all of this.”
I stared at
him in pure confusion, “What?”
“What is
the meaning of all of this! Why do you have a mattress in the backseat of your
car, and a video camera, and a giant teddy bear?”
“Well it’s
exactly what it looks like.”
“WHAT?”
“Yeah. I
just picked up this mattress from my cousin’s friend because he was moving and
didn’t want it any more. I figured I’d get rid of it for him since I’m the only
one with a car big enough to transport it.”
“How about
the bear?”
“It’s for
my Aunt Janet. Today is her birthday and she loves bears so I got her a giant
teddy.”
Leonard
stared at me in thought and had a look of annoyance on his face.
“Then what
about the video camera?”
“I’m in
charge of making a dvd for their home movie collection. I decided to buy a new
camera because my Uncle’s is still doing VHS and I heard HD is a lot better.”
“How about
that shovel?”
“I keep it
for emergencies.”
“Emergencies?”
“Yeah, if I
hit an animal I don’t like to just leave it in the middle of the road so I drag
it off and burry it.”
Leonard
raised an eyebrow.
“You burry
it?”
I
scoffed. “Wouldn’t you want to be buried
instead of left in the middle of the road I mean honestly?”
Leonard
ignored my question and asked another.
“What about
the chain and the duct tape.”
“If I ever
need to be towed out of a ditch I have the rope, and if a piece of my car falls
off I have duct tape. Didn’t you see my bumper?”
Leonard
examined the bumper that was being held up by a large quantity of the tape and
turned to me. He stared for a few minutes and then closed the door of the van.
“Alright
smart guy, explain this.” He pointed at the sign. I rolled my eyes and stared
at the man.
“Sir seriously?
If you saw that wouldn’t you want it?”
Leonard
continued to stare. Anger and annoyance was written all over his face.
“BUT YOU
ARE SITTING OUTSIDE OF THE PARK!”
“Sir,” I
paused to add a little bit of a dramatic affect, and because I couldn’t believe
this man was so stupid, “I’ve been stuck in traffic.”
Silence
stretched between us. I don’t understand what the big deal would have been
anyway.
“But the
bed, and the bear, and the camera and the candy,”
“Candy is
delicious sir. Would you like some? I think I have a piece of taffy you can
have. Just don’t take the candy corn, those are my favorite!” I reached into
the passenger side window and pulled out the bag, offering it to him.
“NO!” He
let out a cough and calmed himself. “No I don’t want any candy. Just get out of
here.”
“Thanks.
See ya later sir,” I called and jumped into the drivers seat. Safely I merged
into traffic and slowly inched my way home.
